Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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Why did the lemming jump off a cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Chuck Norris.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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Hey Caleb.

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Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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Is this a chair?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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