What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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The WNBA.

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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monkey sponge

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Why do Kenyans run so much? Because they like it.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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Knock knock Who's there? Johnny Johnny who? Names don't matter. Now shut up and let me in before I kill your family

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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How much is an abortion? A life

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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