What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

Baseball

roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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