I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Women's football

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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