Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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