Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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Nice weather we're having.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Steve Jobs.

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That's Racist

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Frown is a four letter word.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Ass

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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