Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +46

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops