Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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Sex. That is all.

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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8===========D O:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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