A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

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What do you call a black person with food stamps? A freeloader.

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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weiner? balls

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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How do magnets work?

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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