What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

Nathan Gooderson.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

What iz stupid? Hibiyav

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

sixty....eight.

Hey

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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