How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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What's black, white, and red all over? White on black homicide.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops