Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

thumb_up thumb_down +11

if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is next?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops