A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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