A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

A Mexican walks into a club.

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

knock knock go away ok

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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