Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

A woman gets in her car to drive.

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

Penis!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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