Flab

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell an Anti-Joke.

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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A boss walks into a bar and hires the first man he sees. He fires everyone else, no matter what their occupation.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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What did the man say to the homeless child. Where's you parents?

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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