That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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There are four black people near each other ? KITKAT !!! :D

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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What is good about the holocaust? It is over

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

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Once upon a time.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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