What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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Women Voting

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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Religion

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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A horse walks into a bar. Animal control them came and got him out, apologizing for the matter.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Hummer.

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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Q: Whats funnier than Ryan Vallee? A: The death of your family -RDV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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