Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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why wouldn't the printer print? because it had no ink.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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S.O.P.A

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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