whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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Small titties.

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops