How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock It's open, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

thumb_up thumb_down +31

First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's cold and icy? Ice

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops