Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What rhymes with turtle? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the asian die? he was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops