A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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Nathan Gooderson.

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops