How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Nathan Gooderson.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What goes gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, POP! A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops