What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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