Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

No it isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

your a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse that biting into an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

thumb_up thumb_down

ati jokes are not to be funny. what about u

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

thumb_up thumb_down

One jew, three Canadians and a Dutch man walk into the bar. The jew buys a beer for the Dutch guy, then the Dutch guy responds with.. "Thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down

I have read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down

baby seal walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops