Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

Rob Bell

Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

why couldnt the gay man marry??? cause he was dead.

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

Paul Dylan King!

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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