A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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k

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Ben Colbert is gay

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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8===========D O:

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops