Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the fox say to the blonde? "Hello". The girl then captured the fox and sold it to the government.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy die at his Halloween party? He was the victim of a drive-by.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What is black and hangs from a tree? A: Kevin Towers

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man say to the homeless child. Where's you parents?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An illegal Mexican immargrant was deported for the selling an use of marijuana. the sad part is this happens everyday

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sex. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who lives with josh moran? A gay asian

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops