Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

minced oaths

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how do you kill jesus? with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Du bist mein Kampf

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops