Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Paul Dylan King!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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