What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for nothing? black

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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