Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Cassie Mills you are gay stop being silly in class you're not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats pale and white your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +13

wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops