Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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69

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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Paul Dylan King!

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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i hate you.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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