How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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Jake Bowar

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

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Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops