What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly doesn't contain pieces of fruit.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

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don't look behind you

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Gestapo.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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