A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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What did the Shark say when he had no lunch? We have a FISHue!

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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What abou three times

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Paul Dylan King!

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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