You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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Poop

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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What is good about the holocaust? It is over

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what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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i love antijokes

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whos gay? you are

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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