What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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Hummer.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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why was the baby crying? a rabit took her bottle and ate her frit snacks.

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What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the leprechian meleste Justin Bieber? ..... He stole his lucky charms.

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Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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Whats 0+0 0

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

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Wolf Pussy

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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