There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

69

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Microsoft Windows

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

cms.......?????

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops