Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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who smells? •Liam

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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Susie has Autism

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Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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A pregnant woman is about to deliver. Both she and her husband are very excited about their first child being born. Then, it turn out that their baby has a rare deformation and has no limbs at all. They still love him

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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