What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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h

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Womens rights

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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