why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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GONNA

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Women's sports.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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96

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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