Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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Hellen Keller

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Chuck Norris died.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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