While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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What's big, and fat? Well, duh an elephant.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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