penis

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How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

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who eats pencils asians

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What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of protesthic arms which changed his life forever

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Canida

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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Women Voting

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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Religion

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Hummer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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