What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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