Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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S.O.P.A

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

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Who's the cutest girl in the world? Claire Seiter.

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There are two horses in a stable. They were just talking about the weather and other normal things. Suddenly, the dog ran in. "HELP, HELP!!!" The dog screamed. Farmer Brandy got stuck in the tractor!!! The horses said, "HOLY SHIT........... A TALKING DOG!!!!"

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Flab

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What's wrong with four black people in a cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac holds 5

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops