whats pale and white your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a bicycle that likes threesomes. A tricycle

thumb_up thumb_down +16

women leaving the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

3 people walk into a bar. They order the same drinks. Upon receiving these drinks, they all promptly left. This is not a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kah-________-

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a horse and a donkey mixed together? A mule.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops