The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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42.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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I cant think of one (._. )

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Why do black men run faster then white men? Because they practice more and some simply want to improve themselves in the sport more then other men. Of course, some white men are faster then some black men, so the whole question in general is not true. You should not believe everything you read on here.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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