How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

GONNA

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

Women's sports.

What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

96

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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