If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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minced oaths

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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