What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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Jokes are funny.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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