Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

Whats something thats red and swings A baby on a meat hook

Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

Lil' Wayne

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

When I went on this website for the first time with a few friends, I was surprised to see a lot of these jokes were actually capable of making me laugh. But as I read on, eventually those funny, harmless jokes turned into offensive, ignorant, and very absurd statements. I realize that this 'anti joke' website was most likely created by a bunch of white people, because obviously white people are one of the most racest human beings, but all this is just too much! I guess I'm trying to say: if your going to make a joke, be respectful about it. America has gone through a lot of unforgiveable hardships and unfortunately these 'jokes' are making fun of all of that in a very offensive way.

why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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