A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Whats9+10 19

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Steve Jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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