Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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"Hello." "Hi."

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What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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SPAMS!!!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Womens' rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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