Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

Who was worse than Hitler? Justin Bieber

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

What did the lover say to his lover? I love you

How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

Looks through the peephole.

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

Justin Bieber

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...