A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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I'm gay.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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The WNBA.

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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Once upon a time.

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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